'They loved without borders': Rose McGowan reveals friend Asia Argento had a 'free' relationship with Anthony Bourdain as she defends the actress from critics who are blaming her friendship with another man for the chef's suicide

  • Anthony Bourdain and Asia Argento agreed to have a 'free relationship' after they began dating says actress Rose McGowan in an open letter
  • 'They loved without borders of traditional relationships, and they established the parameters of their relationship early on,' claims the actress
  • McGowan wrote the letter after travelling to Italy to be by Argento's side, and urged people not to blame Argento for Bourdain's actions
  • 'Do NOT do the sexist thing and burn a woman on the pyre of misplaced blame. Anthony’s internal war was his war,' writes McGowan
  • Argento had been photographed a week ago walking the streets of Rome with her good friend Hugo Clement, who is a French journalist with Konbini News 
  • 'On behalf of me and all who are hurting because of this unfathomable loss, I asked the strongest woman I know, Rose McGowan, to be my voice,' said Asia 

Anthony Bourdain and his girlfriend Asia Argento did not have a traditional relationship according to Rose McGowan.

The actress has released an open letter after travelling to Italy to be by Argento's side, in which she writes: 'Anthony and Asia had a free relationship, they loved without borders of traditional relationships, and they established the parameters of their relationship early on.'

McGowan goes on to say: 'Asia is a free bird, and so was Anthony.'

At the same time that the letter was released, McGowan also posted a message from Argento on her Instagram.

'On behalf of me and all who are hurting because of this unfathomable loss, I have asked the strongest woman I know, Rose McGowan, to be my voice, to help me shoulder this burden and write truth,' read the message.

'Please read these words and have mercy on our pain.'

It was then signed by Argento in 'grief and strength.'

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Free birds: Anthony Bourdain and Asia Argento agreed to have a 'free relationship' after they began dating says actress Rose McGowan in an open letter (Argento and Bourdain in November)

Free birds: Anthony Bourdain and Asia Argento agreed to have a 'free relationship' after they began dating says actress Rose McGowan in an open letter (Argento and Bourdain in November)

Non-traditional: 'They loved without borders of traditional relationships, and they established the parameters of their relationship early on,' claims the actress (part of letter above)

Non-traditional: 'They loved without borders of traditional relationships, and they established the parameters of their relationship early on,' claims the actress (part of letter above)

Pals: McGowan wrote the letter after travelling to Italy to be by Argento's side, and was with her on a film set as she wrote the remarks (McGowan and Argento in March)

Pals: McGowan wrote the letter after travelling to Italy to be by Argento's side, and was with her on a film set as she wrote the remarks (McGowan and Argento in March)

The letter goes on to reveal that after Bourdain met Argento he told a mutual friend that he had 'never met anyone who wanted to die more than him.'

McGowan then explains that while both Bourdain and Argento had suicidal thoughts, Argento got help 'so she could stay alive and live another day for her and her children.'  

'Anthony’s depression didn’t let him, he put down his armor, and that was very much his choice,' claims McGowan. 

This letter comes just one week after photos emerged of Argento strolling the streets of Rome with journalist and close friend Hugo Clement. 

The joyful and jubilant pair were photographed smiling as they strolled through the Italian capital, just weeks after Clement, 28, posted Argento's powerful speech at the closing ceremony of the Cannes Film Festival in which she attacked Harvey Weinstein and called the annual event his 'hunting ground.'

'On behalf of me and all who are hurting because of this unfathomable loss, I asked the strongest woman I know, Rose McGowan, to be my voice,' said Asia (above)

'On behalf of me and all who are hurting because of this unfathomable loss, I asked the strongest woman I know, Rose McGowan, to be my voice,' said Asia (above)

Photos show the friends embracing and smiling just days before Weinstein's indictment on two counts of rape and one count of criminal sexual act.

Clement is a journalist with Konbini news, and has done a number of well respected pieces for the agency, most recently on the famine in Congo, the livestock industry in France and the threats facing gay men in Tunisia.

Argento's happiness was gone however by Friday with the news of Bourdain's death. 

'Sitting across from me is the remarkable human and brave survivor, Asia Argento, who has been through more than most could stand, and yet stand she does,' writes McGowan at the start of the letter. 

'She stood up to her monster rapist and now she has to stand up to yet another monster, suicide. The suicide of her beloved lover and ally, Anthony Bourdain. I write these truths because I have been asked to.'

That person appears to have been Argento, whose name is signed alongside McGowan at the end of the note.

McGowan also claims that Bourdain did seek some help prior to his death, but then chose to ignore the recommendations of a medical professional.

'I know before Anthony died he reached out for help, and yet he did not take the doctor’s advice. And that has led us here, to this tragedy, to this loss, to this world of hurt,' states McGowan. 

'Do NOT do the sexist thing and burn a woman on the pyre of misplaced blame. Anthony’s internal war was his war, but now she’s been left on the battlefield to take the bullets. It is in no way fair or acceptable to blame her or anyone else, not even Anthony.'  

The chef and self-proclaimed film fanatic first met Argento in 2016 when she appeared on the Rome episode of his Emmy-winning show Parts Unknown.

Bourdain and Argento's relationship then became public after the two were seen in Rome together early last year. 

The lovebirds could be seen walking around the city hand-in-hand and then sharing a kiss after enjoying dinner at Pommidoro.

The two then returned to their hotel room. 

Argento, 42, first met Bourdain, 61, just around the time that it was revealed that he and his wife Ottavia were separating after nine years of marriage.

The actress and Bourdain's ex-wife are near look-alikes and both hail from Italy.

Bourdain's Rome episode of 'Parts Unknown' was a remarkable feat, and one that was inspired in some ways by Argento's father.

Dario Argento is considered by many to be one of the great horror directors, and is known for his highly stylized films, among them the 1977 classic Suspiria.

The episode was shot entirely in widescreen and featured no imagery of classic Rome, choosing instead to show only 'the architecture of Mussolini and post-Mussolini era.'

Argento helped Bourdain with this by showing him some of her favorite spots and having her sister cook for him.

She even took Bourdain to what he described as a 'bats*** crazy boxing club where we ate pasta ringside as gladiators pounded one another and the crowd hooted and roared.' 

Argento has two children, an 8-year-old son Nicola with her ex-husband Michele Civetta and a 16-year-old daughter Anna from her relationship with musician Marco Castoldi.

She shot to fame as a teenager due to her famous father and roles in a number of Italian movies, receiving the Italian equivalent of the Academy Award twice before the age of 20.

Argento then found fame in America with her role opposite Vin Diesel in XXX, and two years later was back with her English language directorial debut, having adapted J. T Leroy's controversial novel 'The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things.'

She has appeared in a number of films over the past decade, most notably Marie Antoinette, Boarding Gate, The Last Mistress and Mother of Tears.

In 2014 she premiered her film Misunderstood at the Cannes Film Festival, which she wrote and directed, telling the press that she was done with acting.

Bourdain was a fan of the film, which he called 'remarkable and beautiful.'

After the two met, he posted a pic of Dario with his young daughter on Twitter, writing: 'Happy Birthday to the master.' 

Argento shared a photo of the pair last month in Florence that showed them embracing after wrapping a new episode of Bourdain's show.

It would be the last public photo of the two together 

For confidential help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or click here

For confidential support on suicide matters in the UK, call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90, visit a local Samaritans branch or click here  

For confidential support in Australia, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or click here 

ANTHONY BOURDAIN AND ASIA ARGENTO'S 'FREE RELATIONSHIP'

Dear Fellow Humans, 

Sitting across from me is the remarkable human and brave survivor, Asia Argento, who has been through more than most could stand, and yet stand she does. She stood up to her monster rapist and now she has to stand up to yet another monster, suicide. The suicide of her beloved lover and ally, Anthony Bourdain. I write these truths because I have been asked to. 

I know so many around the world thought of Anthony Bourdain as a friend and when a friend dies, it hurts. Many of these people who lost their ‘friend’ are wanting to lash out and blame. You must not sink to that level. Suicide is a horrible choice, but it is that person’s choice. When Anthony met Asia, it was instant chemistry. They laughed, they loved and he was her rock during the hardships of this last year. Anthony was open with his demons, he even wrote a book about them. In the beginning of their relationship, Anthony told a mutual friend, “He’s never met anyone who wanted to die more than him.” And through a lot of this last year, Asia did want the pain to stop. But here’s the thing, over their time together, thankfully, she did the work to get help, so she could stay alive and live another day for her and her children. Anthony’s depression didn’t let him, he put down his armor, and that was very much his choice. His decision, not hers. His depression won. Anthony and Asia had a free relationship, they loved without borders of traditional relationships, and they established the parameters of their relationship early on. Asia is a free bird, and so was Anthony. Was. Such a terrible word to write. I’ve heard from many that the past two years they were together were some of his happiest and that should give us all solace. 

Anthony was 61, the same age my father was when he died. My father also suffered from intermittent deep depression, and like Anthony, was part of a “pull up your bootstraps and march on” generation. The a “strong man doesn’t ask for help” generation. I know before Anthony died he reached out for help, and yet he did not take the doctor’s advice. And that has led us here, to this tragedy, to this loss, to this world of hurt. Do NOT do the sexist thing and burn a woman on the pyre of misplaced blame. Anthony’s internal war was his war, but now she’s been left on the battlefield to take the bullets. It is in no way fair or acceptable to blame her or anyone else, not even Anthony. We are asking you to be better, to look deeper, to read and learn about mental illness, suicide and depression before you make it worse for survivors by judging that which we do not understand, that which can never fully be understood. Sometimes we are stuck in the unknowable, and that is where we are now, a massive wave of darkness that threatens to swallow everyone in its wake. 

As I watch Asia do her job on set today, I see a pillar of strength who continues to work to put food on her children’s table. I see Elizabeth Taylor carrying on filming Cat on a Hot Tin Roof despite her love, her husband, dying in a plane crash. I see all of us who have carried on. Please join me in sending healing energy to Anthony on his journey, and to all who’ve been left behind to journey on without him. There is no one to blame but the stigma of loneliness, the stigma of asking for help, the stigma of mental illness, the stigma of being famous and hurting. 

We must do more and be better. Anthony, our friend, would want it that way. 

To the media and to the random commenter, Anthony would never have wanted Asia to be hurt, I’d like to think he would want us to have the collective conversation that needs to be had about depression. Blame is NOT a conversation, it is the shutting down of our collective growth. Which is where we are now. We have a choice as humans, shrink to our smaller, uglier selves, or be better and grow as only true Phoenixes can. I urge you to be that Phoenix. 

With great sadness and even greater hope, I remain, 

Rose McGowan 

cc: Asia Argento 

If you are considering suicide, reach out. We need you here. You matter. You exist. You count. There is help a phone call away, reach out. 

 Suicide Prevention Hotlines: 

Argentina: +5402234930430 

Australia: 131114 

Austria: 017133374 

Belgium: 106 

Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 

Botswana: 3911270 

Brazil: 212339191 

Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) 

Croatia: 014833888 

Denmark: +4570201201 

Egypt: 7621602 

Finland: 010 195 202 

France: 0145394000 

Germany: 08001810771 

Holland: 09000767 

Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 

Hungary: 116123 India: 8888817666 

Ireland: +4408457909090 

Israel: 1201 or 972-889-1333 from abroad 

Italy: 800860022

 Japan: +810352869090 

Mexico: 5255102550 

New Zealand: 045861048 

Norway: +4781533300 

Pakistan: 15 / 115 (Emergency) 

Philippines: 028969191 

Poland: 5270000 

Russia: 0078202577577 

Spain: 914590050 

South Africa: 0514445691 

Sweden: 46317112400 

Switzerland: 143 

United Kingdom: 08457909090 

USA: 18002738255 For a USA Crisis Text Line, please text CONNECT to 741741 from anywhere in the USA, anytime, about any type of crisis.

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